Unashamed

You know…women played a very important part in the story of Jesus.

He was born of a woman, prepared for burial by a woman (the alabaster box woman), first seen by a woman after his resurrection.
He commissioned the women to go tell his disciples that he had risen.

He never disgraced, reproached, belittled or even stereotyped a woman in the Bible.

Indeed we are special in his eyes.😊😇
Tonight we are going to have an exposition on the interactions between Jesus and three of the women in the Bible and how we can relate it to our present day situations.
The theme of tonight’s session is *Unashamed*

What does it mean to be ‘unashamed’?

Can anyone help us answer?

🌺Contributions:
💮Feeling or showing no shame
💮Not being afraid of who you are,what you carry and whom you represent
💮Without remorse

We’ll begin answering this question by looking at the story of The woman with The Alabaster Box in Luke 7:37-39 (The Passion Translation)

“In the neighborhood there was an immoral woman of the streets, known to all to be a prostitute. When she heard about Jesus being in Simon’s house, she took an exquisite flask made from alabaster, filled it with the most expensive perfume, went right into the home of the Jewish religious leader, and knelt at the feet of Jesus in front of all the guests.
Broken and weeping, she covered his feet with the tears that fell from her face. She kept crying and drying his feet with her long hair. Over and over she kissed Jesus’ feet. Then she opened her flask and anointed his feet with her costly perfume *as an act of worship.*
When Simon saw what was happening, he thought, “This man can’t be a true prophet. If he were really a prophet, he would know what kind of sinful woman is touching him.” (emphasis mine)
In case you skipped the Bible passage, please go back and read it again. 😅

From the passage above, we understand that everyone knew this woman as a prostitute.

She had that tag on her everywhere she went, people would point fingers, talk behind her back and look at her with disgust. ☹️

Perhaps you have been given a tag just because of the mistakes you’ve made in the past… and you’ve heard it for so long you began to think that maybe that’s truly who you are?
Jesus is setting you free tonight!!

So back to the woman, we don’t have much information about her from scriptures but one thing we know is that they knew her to be a prostitute…

When this woman walked into the house where Jesus was, she knew that there’d be people who would still look at her as a sinner, as unclean but she didn’t care because the One who would give her a change of name and story was sitting in that house…she was *unashamed*, she knew that if she could just get to Jesus, something would happen. 🔥🙌🏻

Do you know that Jesus has the power to change your life if you’ll only just let Him???

And so she went to Jesus, fell at His feet, the passage reads “Broken and weeping”, she started wiping His feet with her tears and drying it with her hair. 🥺
I don’t know about you, but my hair is very important to me. 😏😅

A woman with this kind of posture was saying,
“There’s nothing left to lose anymore, you’re all that matters now Jesus, I have come to the end of myself… just take it all”
Then she broke the alabaster box of perfume, that was probably all she had left. Some versions say it was a year’s worth wages. Do you know what it cost to give a year’s salary???😳

But it was an act of worship to the One who would die for Her.

The Bible states that the scent filled the whole room.

Cause you see…
Worship is more than just singing to God and feeling emotional about it, it’s also about living your life in a way that brings glory to His name so much so that the scent of your life is perceived by all who come in contact with you and ultimately draw them to Jesus.

Further more in the passage…(verses 39-50)
We won’t read it all because of time…
The people present in the room are angry, first that Jesus allowed this woman touch Him and that she ‘wasted’ the perfume. 🌝

When you decide to start living your life for Jesus, people will talk about you, call you names, try to stop you.

I remember sometime ago, while on campus, somebody told me, “fine girl like you, see how you’re wasting your life, with all this church things”😅
That even made me more determined to not stop cause comments like this show that we’re hitting the devil’s kingdom hard. 😼😅
All you have to do is focus on the One you’re living for and let Him defend you.

Because that’s what happened in that passage, not only did He defend her, he forgave her her sins and changed her name forever.

No longer to be known as the Prostitute but forever known as The Woman with the Alabaster Box

All praises to Jesus, our Defender🙌🏻
Someone is receiving a change of name tonight in Jesus name!

I believe we’re already getting blessed? 😄🙌🏻
I don’t know about you, but I am! 😄😄

Next we’ll look at The Adulterous Woman.
One of the world’s number one question should be, “where is the man that she was caught in the act with?” 🤷‍♀️
No one knows 🌝😅
But that’s by the way.😅

John 8: 4-11 (TPT)

Then they said to Jesus, “Teacher, we caught this woman in the very act of adultery.
Doesn’t Moses’ law command us to stone to death a woman like this? Tell us, what do you say we should do with her?”
They were only testing Jesus because they hoped to trap him with his own words and accuse him of breaking the laws of Moses.
But Jesus didn’t answer them. Instead he simply bent down and wrote in the dust with his finger.
Angry, they kept insisting that he answer their question, so Jesus stood up and looked at them and said, “Let’s have the man who has never had a sinful desire throw the first stone at her.”
And then he bent over again and wrote some more words in the dust.
Upon hearing that, her accusers slowly left the crowd one at a time, beginning with the oldest to the youngest, with a convicted conscience.
Until finally, Jesus was left alone with the woman still standing there in front of him. So he stood back up and said to her, “Dear woman, where are your accusers? Is there no one here to condemn you?”

Looking around, she replied, “I see no one, Lord.”
Jesus said, “Then I certainly don’t condemn you either. Go, and from now on, be free from a life of sin.”
(Emphasis mine)
It’s quite a long passage. But please let’s take a moment and read through.
🌺 Contribution: Jesus is my advocate so no one can condemn me for no reason coz I have been justiified

Just as verse 11 said, Jesus doesn’t condemn you.
He doesn’t!!!
For some of us, we are so wrapped up in the guilt from our mistakes that we find it hard to believe that Jesus loves us or that He even wants to have anything to do with us.

But that’s the reason He came to die! He came because of YOU. And it doesn’t matter how far gone you think you are, His arms are always outstretched waiting for you to come home.

Listen carefully…

No matter how abominable you think the sin you committed might be, whether it be abortion, fornication, lesbianism, murder, slander, betrayal, masturbation, pornography, drug addiction, sex addiction… just name it…
My Bible tells me in Romans 8:38-39 that *NOTHING* can separate us from the love of God.

Absolutely nothing can make the Father stop loving you, not even your sins😩

Jesus doesn’t care about your past, He died for us while we were yet sinners.

He loves you regardless of what you might’ve done.
Ephesians 3:18-19 (The Living Bible Translation)

“…and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God himself”

What He’s interested in is what He can make out of your life if you’ll just let Him.

Mind you, He won’t impose Himself on you.

It is the devil that condemns, but the Holy Spirit convicts. These are two different things.

The devil wants you to keep you in a state of condemnation so that you’ll keep having guilty conscience and be afraid to go back to the Father. He wants to keep you *away from* the father.

The Holy Spirit convicts you, not by beating you down for your actions but by reminding you that, that is not your true self and encouraging you to approach the Father for mercy and grace. He tries to *get you back to* the Father.

Please let’s look closely at this so that when certain thoughts come into your mind, you can discern who and what is speaking…

Finally we’d be looking at The Samaritan Woman by the well.

It’s a very long passage in John chapter 4 that runs all the way from verses 4-42 so we’d just highlight key verses from it.

Vss. 16-18
Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither.
The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband:
For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.

Understand that there’s nothing hidden from Jesus, He knows your tiniest dirtiest secrets, habits, besetting sins and it still doesn’t make Him stay away.

Instead, he wants to help you get rid of them.

Guilt eats at you till it breaks you down.
You might not even know it’s the reason behind some of your present actions because it’s been buried in for so long.

But Jesus wants to make you whole so that your life can be a testimony to other women too.

Vss. 23-24
But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.
God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.

Sisters, that hour is now. We are living in the times of the manifestation of the prophecies of Bible days.

God is seeking for true worshippers that’ll worship Him in spirit and truth.

Why is worship important?
Because you cannot talk about God’s love without worship.

We receive God’s love and we respond to Him in worship.

Remember what I said about worship earlier, it is more than just singing but also about living.

Vss. 29-30, 39-42
Come, see a man, which told me all things that ever I did: is not this the Christ? Then they went out of the city, and came unto him.
And many of the Samaritans of that city believed on him for the saying of the woman, which testified, He told me all that ever I did.
So when the Samaritans were come unto him, they besought him that he would tarry with them: and he abode there two days.
And many more believed because of his own word;
And said unto the woman, Now we believe, not because of thy saying: for we have heard him ourselves, and know that this is indeed the Christ, the Saviour of the world.

Ladies we are saved to serve. Christ’s sacrifice was aimed at turning us back to the Father. And we are to continue in that mission. It’s like an appointment, that when you accept you get under Heaven’s payroll.

This woman didn’t hesitate to share this wonderful experience that she had just had with the Savior.

And at the end of it all, the people no longer acknowledged her *as the woman who had different husbands* but as the one that linked them to the Messiah.
Take a moment and digest these…
As we begin to round up…

I cannot help but repeat it again and again that God loves you no matter what you’ve done, where you’ve been or mistakes you’ve made.

You have to get past feeling guilty for those actions and start receiving His love.

For some of us it’ll be having a reconnection, maybe one sin or the other made you drift away from God… He’s calling you back now. All you have to do is go back in prayer and ask for mercy.

And puhleeeaasssseeee🙄 Be real! Leave all the big grammar and tell Him as it is, there are times I just go to God and weep, I just tell Him that I don’t have words to express the way I’m feeling and that He should listen to my heart.

If I told you the content of my prayers you’ll laugh. Sometimes I go, “Papa, I’ve come again o…I know I’ve been away for so long but you know you can’t throw me away na…” 😅

You need to be able to see God as real and as a Father.
Someone recently helped me understand this dimension of God as a father and that’s why as frequently as possible, I call Him Abba, meaning ‘Father’.

I want it to sink down into my spirit that He’s my father, that I am His beloved daughter, a princess and that He’ll never leave me.

For some of us, it might be that you’ve never received Jesus as your Lord and Savior yet.
Now is the time. Tomorrow is not promised. You might have been postponing, feeling like you want to ‘enjoy’ life first. I want to let you know that true enjoyment is found in Jesus. He gives peace that no one can give, He loves like no man can love you. I call Him my Lord Permanent, whoever I marry is Lord temporal😅

Some of us have searched for love in all the wrong places, compromised our standards and even gotten our hearts broken, while looking to fill that emptiness in our hearts.

I speak from experience sisters, I’ve been there before.
But it only takes so many relationships to realize that only He can fill that void in your heart.

Romans 10: 9-10
That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall *not be ashamed.*(Unshamed)(emphasis mine)

If you’re ready to accept Jesus tonight, please say this prayer that I will type now:
Lord Jesus, I am sorry for living in a way that has not been pleasing to you, living a life without You.

I confess my sins before you tonight and I ask that You forgive and cleanse me from my sins.

I accept you as my Lord and Savior. Come take Your place in my life.
In Your name I pray, Amen!
I want to believe that a number of us have said this prayer tonight and there’s celebration in heaven right now. Glory! 💃🙌🏻
*If you said this prayer you can also dm me so we can talk more.* 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Welcome to God’s family.

Tonight we pray that the enemy will not steal these words of life that we have received tonight!
Instead they’ll fall on the fertile parts of our heart and illuminate us.

We decree that every ungodly habit, addiction, besetting sins that still has its grip on any of us is broken in the name of Jesus!

We say no more to shame, guilt and condemnation.🙅‍♀️
Satan we bind your hands over us, we come against you by the blood of Jesus! We loose ourselves from every form of your oppression in Jesus name!

Everyone sick here tonight receives healing in the name of Jesus!

Every broken heart/mind/spirit here tonight receives healing in the name of Jesus!

The chains are broken, we have been set free by Jesus and we are free indeed in Jesus mighty name!
Alleluia!!

I believe and trust in my heart, that women of God are rising out of this platform, women who are not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, who are not ashamed to tell of how Christ has changed their lives, who are not ashamed of pouring their alabaster box at the feet of Jesus.
🙌🏻🙌🏻

May we truly be known as godly women and may we be ignited and as well ignite others with an unquenchable fire in pursuit of God and the interests of His kingdom.
Amen.

And so we have come to the end of tonight’s session and I trust we have all been greatly blessed by it.

For our new members, the group is still functional. We have our monthly sessions and classes that also run regularly here on the platform.

There are also nice resource materials such as PDFs, audio messages exclusive to members of the group only.

We hope that you stay with us as we continue in our mission of impacting ourselves, our society and our world in a godly way. 👌🏻👌🏻
It’s been an awesome night ladies. 😄
How many of us believe our lives are changing?🙋‍♀️

It’s a wrap ladies.😄
Thanks and God bless🙌🏻🤗

Dumb Things Girls Do

Be sincere to yourself, there are certain things you look back at and say to yourself, “that was a really dumb thing to do o, or say o” right???

Well, we want to talk about some of the dumb things girls do so that we’ll know better to avoid them, as smart ladies that we are 😌😉

1️⃣
Falling in love with man first before falling in love with God. 😒😒

Your relationship with God should be the determinant factor for every relationship.
Don’t just seek what God can offer, seek God for His very being.

When you have a solid relationship with God, no matter how painful a heartbreak might be, you’d be able to bounce back on your feet.

Remember, the Holy Spirit is the Comforter, He knows how to soothe your pains and heal your heart.

No person or (man) can hold you to ransom when you have God on your side. 👌🏻👌🏻

2️⃣
Staying in the house of a man that has not married you. 🙄🙄

It is the highest disrespect on yourself and men respect you when you respect yourself.

You don’t have house? You don’t have female friends that have house? You don’t have family or relatives that have house??? 🤷🤷

There’s something called “see finish”, this happens when you both have already gotten used to the things that should’ve been preserved for marriage to the extent there’s nothing to look forward to again. Avoid it.

3️⃣
Disobeying God’s word because of your relationship.
Example, sexual immorality.

Because of one young man, you disobey the God that kept you when the man was not there.

If someone promise you marriage, promise him sex. 🤷‍♀️🙄
Don’t give him something tangible when he has only promised something abstract.👌🏻👌🏻

4️⃣
Exchanging naked pictures with guys they want to marry. 🙄🙄
I mean like seriously???🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
I consider this one of the dumbest of all🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

When a young man tells you to send your nudes, just know he’s a useless person.
Tell him he needs help and run for your life. 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

This is how many ladies have had their trust broken, pictures leaked when things go sour in the relationship.
Don’t do that to yourself, you deserve more.

5️⃣
Fighting your family members because of your relationship.

If a young man is not accepted by your family, there are three things to do:

i. Tell him he has work to do to win them over, to earn your parent’s love and acceptance

ii. You have work to do. Keep talking to your parents about him.

iii. You both have to pray about it.

Like it or not, you need your parents blessing.

Don’t follow this new generation message of “it doesn’t matter… follow your heart, bla bla bla” 😏😏

6️⃣
Dating a man who abuses his mother and has no regard for his sisters.

This is simply a prophecy of how he will treat you tomorrow.

If he’s really nice, it shouldn’t be to only you.

You have to observe how he treats people especially other women, does he regard/respect them or not?

7️⃣
Using pregnancy to trap a man
Ladies c’monnnn!! This is like the dumbest of the dumbest! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I don’t really even understand how this works like, it’s your body that goes through all the changes, morning sickness, swollen feet, pregnancy-out-of-wedlock embarrassment and all what nots, just to keep a man??? 🤨🤨😒😒😒

Besides, most radical, violent, stubborn children were born out of wedlock.
Why bring in an innocent child to suffer and to join the issues you already have with the man?

8️⃣
Spending money on a man you’re not married to.

I’m just looking at you like…🌝🌝
This one can be very dicey but it’s important to have a balanced view on this issue.

First things first, anybody who has nothing doing should not be engaged to you.

It’s not bad to lend a helping hand once in a while, I mean this is someone you love and want to build a life together with right???

But when he’s not even making any effort to gain financial independence, 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ hmmmm… better think again.

When you spend on a man you get him angered and you get him lazy.

If you’re so rich, channel your money to the kingdom. Become a kingdom financier. 👌🏻👌🏻

What I’m trying to say is spending on a guy you’re not married to over and over again is not advisable.
While it’s not wrong to lend a helping hand once in a while, any guy that wants to be financially dependent on you is not a good choice
We should note that what you see in courtship is what will continue to play out in marriage.
Question: Is it also wrong to buy him gifts especially when he also spends on you?
Answer 1: Its not wrong to buy a guy gift
Answer 2: Buying gifts is not the same as a guy being financially dependent on you…
You also have to make sure what’s keeping him with you is not the gifts you’re buying too… some guys are just😅

🌺”See the thing is most times we do things and expect a return ,do things because you want to help and you are human, I know it is annoying but that shouldn’t stop u from lending hand
P.s let it be balanced”

🌺My own challenge is, I’m in a so-called relationship with this guy. Uncle borrowed money since last year to settle some things. Till now, uncle has not refunded. I’ve tried different ways to make him payback, he keeps saying he doesn’t have the money yet.

What do I do with this fellow?

🌺Sincerely what I think is, if you feel the relationship is worth keeping, let it go. But he must know that you’re not happy with how the whole lending and borrowing thing played out. And that it’d affect your decision of being of any financial assistance to him next time.

9️⃣
Dressing half naked to attract men. 😒😒
By now, y’all should know that this is a complete no-no for me🙅
Any lady who naturally likes what is revealing is considered loose because if you’re advertising you must be selling.
You can still look fashionable and beautiful in modest wear… you don’t have to expose your body.

The responsible, godly men out there know what they’re looking for and trust me it’s not your exposed thighs, boobs and cleavages.
Cover up girl! 😉😄

1️⃣0️⃣
Dating a cultist. 😑😑
Anyone who dates a cultist is a cultist.

Any man who is a cultist has the capacity to keep major secrets.
He can bury you and keep it a secret. 😬

1️⃣1️⃣
Dating and staying with a man that beats you.
Hmmmmm… this is for those who don’t like their lives.🌝🌝
About a week ago I posted a video here about a guy beating his girlfriend and there were so many reactions both here and on my personal chats too.

Contributions:
🌺”This is one of the reasons why I want to make serious money.
I’ll just be buying case that’s not my own and be dealing with offenders anyhow 🤦🏽‍♀😂”

🌺I think some of them unknowingly go into it and still have good intentions…but still… don’t date a cultist biko

Stop making excuses for him. Any man that respects you will not lay his hands on you. I know you love him and you think he’s going to change but you can do that from afar sis.

1️⃣2️⃣
Staying with a man who has too many women in his life. 😒🤦

Some people have turned to lion because of man, wigs and bras in the air… because they’re fighting for man💔🤦‍♀️

While we may have different scenarios that I can’t thoroughly or adequately explain here…What’s important is that if it ever gets to you having to fight, please don’t

Fighting with a lady because of a man shows you have no respect for yourself, womanhood or sisterhood.

It’s degrading, really

1️⃣3️⃣
Falling in love too fast.
You don’t even know his last name but you’re already in love. 🌝🌝
Some call it “love at first sight”. But in this case, love has been confused for attraction.
You can meet someone for the first time and you’re so into the person, you guys just vibe… There’s this visible attraction between you both and you’re already daydreaming about the wedding and how your kids will look like😅😅

Attraction is not the end but the means to an end…
It makes you want to know the person more…then you begin to find out things that are actually not so cool…how they eat, how they’re dirty and nice stuffs too😅

After all these discoveries, if you still choose to stay, to commit to that person, then we can now start talking about love
True love is earned.
You don’t love who you don’t know, it’s just lust.

Don’t make yourself too available to someone you just met.
Some ladies meet a guy for the first time and they’re just all over likeeee🤦‍♀️🙄🙄🙄
At least, form small na😂😂

Even in the movies, you realize the cute guy usually drifts to that girl that’s not all over him like the other girls.

1️⃣4️⃣
Being a slave to a man who has not married you. 🙄🙄

Stop cooking, washing, cleaning for who has not paid your bride price.

You are not his cook or laundry woman.
If he gives the excuse of wanting to know if you can do all these things, tell him to come check your house.🙄
Yes you can and you can even help do the dishes when you’re done eating…
But being his regular cook and washerwoman is what I don’t think is appropriate. What will you now do in marriage? 🤷‍♀️

Why is he piling up dirty stuff in his house?
Anyways, it all depends on individual choice. What you can tolerate and what you can live with.
In general, reserve some things that you both would look forward to in marriage
Contributions:
🌺Dear the thing is don’t always do it all the time, it’s not bad you leave it like that or reduce the time u decide to stay or better still go BK, if u keep doing them he would keep piling them
🌺If u weren’t coming how would he have cleaned the room
🌺A guy that respect u would try clean his room because his babe is coming

1️⃣5️⃣
Loving a man and hating his family.

In fact if a man has issues with his family, you coming into his life should make them reconcile.

Let the parents see you as a connecting factor.
Stop praying for his mother to die, you’ll have a son one day.

Don’t hate them, pray for them instead, try to win them over.

1️⃣6️⃣
Marrying old men. 🌝🌝
The highest age gap between you two should be like probably ten years.
Adam was first created before Eve.

Marrying a man also way younger has its issues too, not saying it’s wrong but you should be able to work your way through it, cause there’ll be a generational gap.

There are certain things you should consider too:

💮His family might see you as a gold digger.

💮The old man will die on your neck.

💮How come he became old without a wife?

💮If he’s a widower, what is the mystery surrounding the wife’s death? 🤷‍♀️
Let him marry a widow too, not you.

1️⃣7️⃣
Leaving a church because of wedding issues.

If he doesn’t want to go through the necessary process, let him go.

Do the necessary tests, go for premaritals.

Contributions:
🌺Two of you should of course be christians…in the period of courtship things like what church you’d do the wedding in, attend thereafter should be discussed. I understand even parents sometimes have a say in this too.
🌺Hmmm… there’s no rigid law to this.
You can decide to do the wedding in the woman’s church or the man’s church…there are different unique factors to be considered here. That’d why I said you both have to be in agreement
🌺I’ve seen where it was held in the woman’s church after which she started attending the man’s church
🌺There is no rule guiding marriage in church, it’s left for u two to discuss .
P.S: it’s not a dumb thing getting married in ur husband church.this is for when u are still dating and not sure if future
🌺This I feel is Basically what no 17 is talking about, transparency to higher authority and u as a lady don’t just let thing slide without discussing
🌺 Stating this I think it’s also important to note that in a marriage there are 3 ropes ; God ,the man and the woman
Sometimes pray about your own issues let God speak to you and your spouse. You don’t have to always drag people into it but when it’s necessary and you see that you need a more experienced elder then cool

1️⃣8️⃣
Struggling to win a man’s love who you know doesn’t love you. ☹️☹️

If you’ve killed the love by your character, made mistakes or the love is not there naturally…
Sis take a walk.
It might be painful, I know.
But it’s better than having to beg for crumbs of affection from somebody.

Take out time, cry very well, lick ice cream and move on

Most ladies are trapped by people who are not blunt.
Refuse to fall into that trap. Jump and pass it 😂

1️⃣9️⃣
Agreeing to be side chick 😒☹️
Contributions:
🌺This was where I found myself sometime ago o hmmm
And I was miserable I kid you not. I didn’t immediately know that I was side chick and when I did find out, it was kinda hard to back out so…
I fooled myself into believing we could work something out eventually…🤦‍♀️
Sisters and brethren, I saw wínnn🌝
The emotional torture, draining and all what nots…
Hmmmm…it wasn’t funny especially having to play dead when main chic calls🤣🤣🤣
The worst part was that I’d now start feeling guilty if I started demanding for more attention😩
Thankfully the other lady never found out before I received sense and took a walk. It’d have been so messy cause wetin I wan even talk, I’m the one at fault here🤦‍♀️
Contributions:
🌺Hmmmm…I think this is something you guys should pray about o. The Bible tells us that the heart of a king is in God’s hands, He can turn whichever way he wants.
🌺As for me, let’s just say I had a wake up call. You know how you just meet one of your mentors or the sermon in church, and your brain just snaps into place…😅
I received sense, told him, “bro, I deserve more than playing second fiddle”
Funny thing was he even pleaded o but naaaahhh, I was done. I took a walk.
Had to calm down and cry for myself very well, then took time healing

You deserve to be number one in your man’s life.

You deserve more please, don’t be so desperate that you settle for second place.
And don’t be the reason he’s cheating on his partner.
God will give you your own. Just believe.

2️⃣0️⃣
Waiting for a man to come and give them a life.

For some ladies, their aim in life is to marry some rich successful guy, have kids and that’s it.

This is not bad in itself, but you really think God created you, put so much potential in you for just that??? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
Please there’s more to you than marriage.

💮Have you discovered your purpose in life?

💮What problem were you created to solve?

💮What group of people were you created to influence?

Someone said that the single season is not just a season of waiting but of doing.

Do all that you can do while you still got time on your hands cause very soon…the demands on you as a wife and as a mother will start coming in.
So there you have it ladies.
Feel free to add to the list too…👌🏻

It’s been a wonderful time these past three nights and I’ve learnt so much too from our stories, thoughts, contributions.
Thank you all so much for coming out, for responding and for engaging…
The team is very grateful🙏🏻🙌🏻
We’ve officially come to the end of this session sisters. But please this does not by any means stop the gist and questions from coming in!

© SisterSisterMovement
_Raising a Generation of Godly Women_

Love Pearls

SSM Webinar February Edition

LOVE PEARLS

15th February 2020
Speaker: Miss Gladys Okorocha

Tonight we have before us 3 KEY POINTS

• Understanding the Essence of Love in a Relationship.

• The secrets to a healthy love life

• Is Love really blind?

1. *Understanding the Essence of Love in a Relationship.*
Imagine a relationship without love, it’s like building a house without cement.
How possible is that?

Love is the energy of life. It is what motivates people to get up each day and keep going.
Love is the foundation of any relationship. Love is a choice, it is beyond emotions, feelings, etc. Feelings are temporary decomposition we have towards someone, it can fade away. When one is in love with a person, it simply means you love everything about that person.

A relationship is composed of many things: friendship, sexual attraction, intellectual compatibility, and, of course, love. Love is the glue that keeps a relationship strong and solid.

A loving relationship is not built in a day. The threads of love take time to weave together to form a strong bond. It is only as you and your partner share your thoughts, fears, dreams and hopes that love takes root. So trust the process and don’t rush love. It has its own timetable that needs to be respected and not hurried.

Let’s go into the scripture

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Ephesians 5:28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
25-28{The Message Translation} Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

The scriptures above tells us how important love is between a man and a woman. When there is no love in a relationship, it’s no longer a relationship but a ship leading to hell!

*The reason is that, both parties will definitely end up in divorce or daily draining of emotions. You can’t give out what you don’t have, if you don’t have love, you can’t give it out. As air is important to human, love is in a relationship.*

When we love someone, we are willing to compromise in order to accommodate their needs or desires. But we don’t sacrifice our own self in doing this, nor should the other person require us to sacrifice our own self for their personal gain. That’s not love; that’s control and abuse.

Love is the highest form of maturity. It often requires a selfless sacrifice. And if we aren’t willing to make some sort of sacrifice on our part in a relationship, we probably don’t love the other person at all.

The kind of love people can give in and of themselves is so limited. It gives back in response to what someone has done (often out of a sense of obligation) and it is often used to manipulate others to gain control of them.

It’s only when both partners understand love, they can truly love themselves. Remove God from the equation it’s no longer relationship but strangership ( permit me to use the word).
Now we can see the essence of love in a relationship.
*Love is the foundation of any relationship*

*2. The secrets to a healthy love life*
For one to have a healthy love life, you must understand the basics of love. Love is:

1. Love is sacrifice:
*Question*

Have you ever been in a relationship and it seems the love is one sided? How do you feel??

A love that is sacrificial is patient, forgiving and apologetic. True love practices forgiveness freely and often. A man who loves sacrificially is a man who gives up something he considers valuable for your sake. He/she inconveniences himself/herself just to see that smile on your face.

If there is no sacrifice, my dear ladies, there is no love oooo
*Let me share a story*

There was a lady whose past was very dirty. It happened that the guy she wanted to get married to, she already had something to do with the dad. She opened up to him few days to their wedding and the guy was hurt by it, but still looked into the eyes of this lady and said “nothing is going to change my love for you, you are walking to the altar and when you get there, you gonna see me right there waiting for you”

*Back to the topic*

It takes a guy or a lady who loves sacrificially to love that same way.
Don’t forget this, a man who loves you, no matter what goes wrong, his choice never change!
Love never sees mistakes

*The Beauty of Sacrificial Love*

When it comes to marriage, you must have God’s love in your heart in order to truly love your spouse. When you do, you’ll always have his/her best interest in mind and desire to serve and support them. You’ll focus more on what you can do for your spouse than striving to make sure you get your way all the time.

Sacrifice is not always fun or easy, but when it’s motivated by godly love, it always brings greater peace and joy to your soul. It is a powerful investment in your marriage that will reap great rewards because God will work in both of your lives in amazing ways as you trust and obey Him.

I want to encourage you to give your heart and your marriage to God completely. Trust Him to give you the grace to love your spouse as He loves you. The blessings that will come as you diligently submit and sacrifice as God leads you to do so will far outweigh the growing pains you experience in the process!

*2. Love is commitment:*

When a man is committed to you, he is willing to give his time in the relationship, he doesn’t see the calls as a waste of time but cherish every single moment you both share. Commitment has to do with being focused, the staying power because he believe so much in the relationship.

*When a man is committed, he makes times for you*, he doesn’t come up with excuses, he doesn’t mind giving up his habit in order not to loose you! He gives in so much just to know more about you. You don’t need to tell him you aren’t happy, he already understand the tone of your voice without seeing you, he already has a video of you in his head.

He knows your likes and unlike even without you telling him, the reason is that he has given his time for you to learn all about you without your knowledge.

I quote, *Any relationship where both parties or one party is not committed is a movie not a relationship. You just acting.*

*Question time*

When you have given so much in a relationship, do you think it is easy to walk away? It wouldn’t be easy to walk away.

That’s commitment!!! Any man who deserves you won’t easily walk away or want to ever quit because he is so committed. Love is understanding VALUE. Value is when he never belittles you even in the heat of an argument, it takes a man who loves you not to call you names in the heat of an argument cause he knows you can’t be compared to trash. He is still gentle with you.

When a man values you, his choice never change!

3. *Understanding Honor*

True honor is mutual not just for a party but both parties.

1 Samuel 2:30 “Therefore, the Lord, the God of Israel, says: The terrible things you are doing cannot continue! I had promised that your branch of the tribe of Levi would always be my priests. But I will honor only those who honor me, and I will despise those who despise me.

Therefore, honor is reciprocated.

What is honor? Honor [n.]: That which rightfully attracts esteem, respect, or consideration; self-respect; dignity; courage; fidelity; especially, excellence of character; high moral worth; virtue; uprightness; trustworthiness; in women, purity; chastity.

A man who honor you, will never stop loving you because he recognizes your value and do not take it for granted. Not only you but with a beggar on the street, he takes no one for granted. He understands respect, courtesy, manner….he protects his purity and of yours. He is honest and nothing less. A man who understands honor will not pretend to be someone he is not. He wants you to take him for who he is. His attitude towards you will determine if he understands honor.

*I want to go deeper now*

1 Peter 3:7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat her with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. If you don’t treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard. (New Living Translation)

1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. NIV

1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. KJV

What God is saying is this – Men I want you to recognize that your wife is not as strong as you, both emotionally and physically. You need to be considerate of those qualities, and appreciate those qualities for the many ways they help her to be a good wife and mother. Don’t belittle her for being weaker or more fragile than you, but instead honor her position as your wife and the mother of your children.

How can he love you when he hasn’t loved himself? Impossicant if the word exist.

Galatians 5:14 For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

A man who loves himself loves people around him. A man who can’t live with himself will have a hard time to live with you. You will always see him nagging, angry, hating, envying…. Etc

4. *RESPECT EACH OTHER’S INDIVIDUALITY*

While shared values and common ground are vitally important to a healthy dating relationship, so is your individuality. You came into this relationship as two individuals with your own interests and personalities. Dating and forming a lasting bond doesn’t mean either of you should shed your unique identity.

If you’re not secure in who you are, your identity will morph from one dating relationship to the next.

Show yourself and your date the courtesy of being yourselves and accepting one another as you are–because if both of you don’t know and accept who you are now, your relationship will suffer later.

5. Learn to listen

6. *Love yourself* : Being comfortable with who you are means you’ll be a happier partner.

7. *Communicate:*

Talk to your partner about your feelings. Ask questions and listen to their answers. If you’re upset, say so, don’t make your partner try to figure out what’s up. Talking through problems builds trust and makes your relationship stronger. And it’s not all about how to deal with your problems — don’t forget to let them know when something they do makes you happy.

8. *Respect and kindness:*

When we love, we act respectfully and kindly towards each other. We do not intentionally hurt or denigrate our partner. When we talk about them in their absence, it is with such warmth that the listeners can hear the love in our words. We do not criticize our partner behind their backs.

9. *Be honest:*

Be truthful with each other about what you do, think, and feel. Honesty creates trust. Few things harm a relationship more than lies.

10. *Give each other some space:*

Couple’s time is great, but spending ALL your time together isn’t. It’s healthy to have your own friends and interests outside of the relationship.

11. *Agree to disagree:*

You’re not always going to see eye to eye, and that’s OK. The important thing is to respect each other’s opinions and ideas.

12. *Forgive and ask for forgiveness:*

Everybody makes mistakes. Be willing to apologize for yours and accept your partner’s apologies. Support each other. When your partner does something great, tell them!
*When you put the above mentioned into consideration, you will have a healthy love life.*
3. Is Love really blind?

Yes, it is blind.
Love is blind when you love too fast.

Don’t fall in love too fast, nothing good in our lives comes from falling, when you fall in love too fast, you think you know their dreams, but you just know their plans. You think you know their heart but you just know their mind. You think you know their past, but you just know their parts. Let the right person show you they are the right person.
Don’t just give away your trust, let someone earn it.

You don’t just find a huge tree with beautiful fruits and beautiful flowers overnight, it takes time. No matter how you water it, it takes time. No matter how much sunlight you give it, it takes time. Neither can a relationship, it takes time. Also don’t make someone fall in love with you if you don’t know how to love them, because they won’t end up questioning you, they will end up questioning love. Love is a beautiful thing, you only chose to make it blind yourself, love can see but chose to tolerate ones excesses.

When you noticed something about your partner but chose to accommodate. Love is all about accommodating each others flaws, commitment, sacrifice, etc
Our feelings of love are unconditional at the point we express them. Love is said to be blind when we don’t care how the other person looks.
*”Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.” James Graham* .
Love is seeing the differences in others not as flaws but as uniqueness. Realizing that what you may see as a flaw, someone else may see as a redeeming quality.

If love is not blind, how come young and pretty ladies got married to a man already with three wives?

If love is not blind, how come a beautiful girl going out with a notorious criminal?

If love is not blind, how come will a young handsome man chasing a prostitute and proposing marriage?

If love is not blind, how come will a young guy spent so much for a lady that belongs to someone else and believing she may change her mind one day?

If love is not blind, how far will you be able to cope with an unfaithful lady/guy in the name of I still love or whatever?

If you say love is blind, why do you quit your relationship or why are hearts are being broken every day.

The reason is you could now see the flaws🤭
*Taking off your eyes from your man/woman for wrong doing could be because love has no eyes*

Love is blind also explains why we take so long to finally see the flaws in those we idealise because of our love, and which means we can end up choosing the wrong person to commit to.

The flaws of blindness of love only become apparent after our initial ardour has cooled, allowing previously suppressed brain areas to awaken to the reality of who we find ourselves with the morning after.

According to the four types of love we all come to know (Storge – Affection, Philia – Friendship, Eros – Romance & Agape – Unconditional Love), Agape kind of love is not blind it can never be blinded, philia too is not blind kind of love though it can be fool. But Eros type of love can be regarded as a blind love so also is Storge.

My conclusion here is that Love is actually not blind! But can be blind when we choose not to see our partners flaw.

One can remove God in a relationship:
1. Not acknowledging God first in your relationship, that he is the author. Running to man for opinions instead of seeking Him first.
2. When you don’t understand the concept of relationship.
God
👇🏾
Man
👇🏾
Woman

3. Going against the rules of Godly relationship
1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. NIV

1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. KJV
When this isn’t practiced or not followed, then you have gone against the creator’s rules about relationship.

Love at first sight isn’t love but infatuation except you have a deep conviction from God.

My dear, arguing with him isn’t maturity in relationship. As a woman, we learn submission. Am not saying you should act foolish all the time but take it to God in prayer.

Don’t forget to share your burdens too, love is not blind and its a choice, we should choose to love despite of .
Don’t forget to have an accountability partner who you can confide the secrets of your relationship to, that’s one of the reasons this platform was created for.
#SSM keep loving

©SisterSister Movement
Raising a Generation of Godly Women

IG: @sistersistermovement